One of the hard lessons you learn when you struggle with mental illness is that your brain is not a reliable witness. That's really true for everyone I think, but it's extra true when you grapple with a mood disorder. You believe, and see evidence all around you, that everyone hates you or that you're … Continue reading Brain Fade
Burdensome Crap
People tell me that I’m strong, but I really don’t feel strong. I feel like a pile of leaves, cowering from the next gust of wind. I feel like a sandcastle, bracing for the tide. And it’s not like you might think, that I fear that the tide will destroy me. It’s that I long … Continue reading Burdensome Crap
La gallina y el huevo Part 3: Chickens, eggs, roosts and back pain
There was a book I read many years ago about a young woman who impulsively decided to go travel to China one summer break from college. She went with another young woman she knew from college with whom she had a superficially close friendship. They headed out with not much of a plan, and a … Continue reading La gallina y el huevo Part 3: Chickens, eggs, roosts and back pain
La gallina y el heuvo Part 2
Is there anything worse than someone talking about being in pain? It’s ok to BE in pain, but silently. The silence makes the pain noble. But the talking about it is tedium. It’s weakness. I’m willing to believe this may entirely be my own projection, fueled by self-loathing, because the truth is, I’m in pain … Continue reading La gallina y el heuvo Part 2
La gallina y el heuvo Part 1
The trip came up a few years ago. My friend, who I shall dub Molly for the purposes of writing about a real person publicly without alienating them forever, was approaching a milestone birthday that she wanted to celebrate with a trip to Spain. She had always dreamed of traveling to Spain, which is a … Continue reading La gallina y el heuvo Part 1
Unruly Conversations
Recently my workplace administration announced that staff needed to stop doing a particular thing. It doesn’t really matter what the thing is; it’s pretty inside baseball and not very interesting to non-librarians. It is however a thing that all staff do every day and is a regular part of workflow. Not doing it creates a … Continue reading Unruly Conversations
The cynicism of anti-vax cheerleaders
Given that we live in a time when the world blows up multiple times a day, and where new news becomes old news in an instant, the word that podcasting 900 pound gorilla Joe Rogan contracted COVID-19 is now very ancient news. Since I first read the story though, I've been irked by the hypocrisy … Continue reading The cynicism of anti-vax cheerleaders
Changing what we ask of our public servants
Lately I’ve been struck by the similarities between library work and policing. It sounds improbable at first. Libraries are an oasis of fun and learning with staff who peddle books and do puppet shows. Police are policing. They’re showing up on most people’s worst day, and making it worse or better, depending. But, there are … Continue reading Changing what we ask of our public servants
The System Works Perfectly
Several years ago I began learning the principles of process improvement, which is a way of evaluating systems and designing them to do what you actually want them to do. One of the huge lightbulb moments I had when I was first introduced to the concepts of PI was that all systems, every single one, … Continue reading The System Works Perfectly
Midlife Crisis at the End of the World
In early March, as the COVID situation was heating up, and three years of the Trump administration had me against the ropes of despair, I took what I thought would be a brief hiatus from Facebook. The world had become so loud I could no longer hear my own primal screaming over the din of … Continue reading Midlife Crisis at the End of the World
Random Knowledge Syndrome 